that looks like an id photo for an all-you-can drink gay tiki bar

WolfeTone - Drives around without his car insurance, ex-convict who assaulted a man for Eric Trump's honor, Null's white knight, expert on everything, BROKE DICK

Arm Pit Cream

🌊💪🏻🌴White Boy Summer Has Commenced🍹🤜🌊
www.lolcow.org
Person of Interest
Confrimed Drama Goblin
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My hands and feet are numb after reading this post. It's for the best though. I've watched this website do a tremendous amount of good over the years, a lot of it not even seen or regarded by a vast swathe of users who seem to come here to capitalize on a free and open space to vent their innermost rot. The fact of the matter is, what's done is done, what's good is good, and I hope Cody's cloak boy is proud of what he's accomplished over the years. And I wish him well.

wish I could trade you my undeserving sights and smells of spring flowers blooming in my back yard for your vista, just for a day. Maybe you wouldn't want to float off into the void of space if you saw the beauty that springs forth from the very earth itself, endlessly, in a cascade. Lord knows I was comfortable within a concrete box before.
WolfeTone, the oldest of oldfags who started kiwifarms since 2010, despite joining on August 19, 2020, even pledging his allegiance to Null well over a year before joining. WolfeTone is an aggressive Floridan autist with a broken penis, born into this world by his parents late into their 40s. WolfeTone is known for being a Joshua Conner Moon dicksucker, self proclaimed "musician", liar, attention whore, expert on any subject at hand and an alleged ex-felon who went to jail for assaulting his friend for talking shit about Eric Trump. WolfeTone spends all day in kiwifarms chat or in threads which either further his personal ambitions(sucking up to Null, bragging about something) or attempting desperately to fit into the culture. WolfeTone attempts to create an image of himself of being this cultured chad in-touch with lolcow culture, but he's the butt of the joke in any conversation he enters. WolfeTone's most painful aspect is probably his attempt to be the authority on any subject, regardless if he actually has knowledge or is just repeating youtuber's opinions verbatim, often bemoaning the quality of things such as the state of chat despite him failing to contribute anything. Despite his desperate attempts to fit in, WolfeTone sticks out like a sore thumb, being known as a lolcow for his sycophantic Null guarding, overly emotional comments, unfunny commentary, cringe video spam, spergy powerleveling and comments devoid of thought or intelligence. Much like Null, WolfeTone shares a penis related injury, perhaps explaining the deep connection between the two.


Living the Dream, Joining Kiwifarms, Breaking the Law
Not a ton is known about WolfeTone's early life except he was born in Florida when his parents were in their forties, he watched many youtube videos, grew up in some "half jewish, half Christian" religion that involved his parents visiting the Holy Land, later WolfeTone would become a locally infamous convict after assaulting his friend and getting into it with local sheriff. Wolfetone has claimed to have "lurked kiwifarms for 6 years" prior to his arrival in 2020, back in 2014 when Kiwifarms was very unknown outside of Chrischan circles and a few niche communities.
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WolfeTone brags about not having friends, but having long hair, showing that he can refine masculinity. Powerful.
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WolfeTone came to be known soon after joining because of how deeply cringe and widespread he is, find a new thread you're enjoying? Bam, there WolfeTone shows up to incoherently ramble on about off topic shit. Having fun in chat talking about games or lolcows? WolfeTone will be sure to show up to bungle lore, talk about the ethics of milking cows, sperg over shit nobody cares about or expel opinions he's seen from youtubers at an astounding rate. Within the first few months of using Kiwifarms, he was already attempting to teach people the "true" meaning of Kiwifarms and how to correctly use the site. WolfeTone rarely comments on lolcow threads unless they're new.
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:deepthunk:
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Stop talking about you want to talk about, Marxism bad guise
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WolfeTone despite attempting to for 7 and a half months still hasn't learned how to archive webpages. His struggle continues to this day they say.
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A month later....
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WolfeTone had a habit of snapping back funnily when people would question him on anything, making a variety of strange claims like he was unable to argue back because he was on two computers at once "multitasking"
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One of the funniest sagas is when he admitted to not having car insurance despite alleging to drive often, WolfeTone loses his shit when people bring this up and his attempts to "meme" off it consistently fail. Please do not remind WolfeTone to get car insurance.
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lmao
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He often makes up stuff about places and then boldly asserts it, very "strange"
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WolfeTone actually LOVED jail and if you question him, you're full of shit.
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WolfeTone Vs Bastard Samurai
WolfeTone's first and only real enemy was beaner Bastard Samurai / Big Bad Fish / Satan / Kirito / Son of Nothing, who arguably went to far in bullying and threatening WolfeTone too quickly, but still produced funny results regardless. This thread that although funny, Bastard Samurai did make out of petty rage of being negrated, it covers a small part of the war between the two, where WolfeTone would sperg but refuse to tag Bastard Samurai for hours on end in the middle of the night, just absolutely losing his shit. But remember, WolfeTone deeply cares about chat quality being the bigger oldfag than Bastard Samurai.

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Despite being a huge oldfag who lurked since 2014, WolfeTone didn't know what halal meant very strangely.
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Imagine greeting people by subcommenting your rage about Bastard Samurai
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Remember, WolfeTone is STRAIGHT and totally not gay despite randomly going on about cocks.
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This happened more than this one time
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Is this a @SIGSEGV reference?????? so deeply invested in the site, keep in mind this was made around 4 months after he joined the site.
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Rip Sig, by the way STOP RUINING CHAT QUALITY BASTARD SAMURAI REEEEEEEEEE
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After his Lord Null took a stronger stance against Sig, WolfeTone made sure to update his rhetoric to stay in line, Sig is a menace.
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I hope he joins here :opeed:
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Null's Number 1 Fan
One of the most consitent traits of WolfeTone is that if Null is anywhere, crying, talking about his silver, or sperging, WolfeTone will be there without fail to back up his lord and master. So much of what WolfeTone says, does and thinks is to please Null, seeing him as his hero and pledging his allegiance to him unironically.
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Null's retarded doomsperging particularly messed with lil WolfeTone, causing him to get blackpilled to the point that both his hands and feet felt numb, leading to this absolutely legendary post.
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Upon being asked "if you like kiwifarms and null so much, why don't you do shit?" he proclaimed Drumpf's rape of section 230 to stop him from making any serious efforts. WolfeTone surely started pumping out content after Biden won, right?
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Thankfully WolfeTone is there to save Null from the big bad bullies, using his Judeo-Christian values to relate to Melinda Scott.
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Then came WolfeTone's big day, Null finally reached out, however he was punished as a result of revenge negrating Bastard Samurai, Lord Null himself struck his apostle with his holy banhammer, removing his stickers. This would leave WolfeTone pleading for his stickers back for months and feeling even more inclined to appeal to his prophet.
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Here, here brother, I agree that that webmaster of Kiwifarms is a great advocate for freedom of speech and there's no hypocrasy in him posting some gay ass speech about it in an attempt to relive his years larping as a freedom of speech warrior. I really like enjoy posting on [Do not link directly, use archive.is]
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Ignore that he was gravedancing on Sig and sucking Jewsh's broken dick as hard as possible.
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Military Attack Helicopters, Convict Lusting Roasties, Black Crime DEBUNKED
WolfeTone alleges that he was accosted by an attack helicopter, not a police helicopter, but a "military attack helicopter". Additionally, claiming the sheriff in his town killed a veteran, WolfeTone often mentions his displeasure for him in passing.
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One of the people closest to WolfeTone is iheartdickpix aka dirtlamb aka @{o}Piii, a used up roastie in her mid 30s who's similar to WolfeTone in aggression, criminal record and autistic powerleveling. Truly a match made in heaven, perhaps love can bloom on the battlefield.
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This is dirt lamb / iheartdickpix btw :opeed:
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Don't worry though, our protagonist is dedicated to the path of wizard and wouldn't dare touch a kiwifarms dame.
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WolfeTone then decided to go full ACAB in the most contrarian sense, openly shilling for George Floyd, claiming he wasn't a felon and he did literally nothing wrong ever. WolfeTone stands against racial injustice and the corrupt system, like a true American Patriot.
"falsified that lab result"
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Lying about George Floyd not being a felon, then coping by saying it's not his business and he doesn't care, before going on how he's really focused about the health of America
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Dr.WolfeTone phones into redpill chat on how George Floyd had 0 fentanyl in his system, it was actually random dust.
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After he continued to sperg about this
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He stands so strongly with Breonna Taylor he can't even spell her name correctly :kengle:
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His takes on black crime have not been popular to say the least.
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Say what you will about the guy who beats up people over Trump's kids, but he's a philosopher
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Dr.WolfeTone returns to give his diagnosis on Nikola Tesla being a schizo
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Fear not, Crypto speculator and miniature Larry Fink is here to redpill the masses on being careful on holding their meme animal virtual currency.
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That's right, he's here to name the Satanic globalists that divide us with lies.
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Sometimes our big guy cries, but as a true man he cries for the world, bearing their sins on his shoulders. It's healthy for men to cry, ok??
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America lost the space race to China, we must return to austerity
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WolfeTone tries to reduce the amount of cringe he publicly posts by spamming the same few threads with the most uninteresting, mundane content possible. He much prefers to stick to chat because like the fool he is, he doesn't know that everything on the internet sticks there forever and thinks it goes away, however both are well worth checking. Don't pull a Bastard Samurai and scare him off.
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Thanks to @slan, @Null and the people who screenshotted all of this originally.
 
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The Fool

♑︎□︎♎︎ □︎♐︎ ⧫︎♒︎♏︎ ⬧︎♓︎⬧︎⬧︎♓︎♏︎⬧︎
www.lolcow.org
Brave™ User
Holy fuck I'm losing my shit, I can't believe this person exists.

This is the main reason I don't care about null fellators, these people really do deserve each other. I hope null's happy with his choice to live in a third world country so he can tardwrangle doomers all day.

Despite being raised heavily Christian, he thought it was possible in some Christian denominations to not believe in the new testament at all. Aka they don't believe in Jesus.
This is becoming pretty par for the course, it's getting hard to find doomers who don't believe in some sort of hethenistic sect or interpretation of christianity. Well, for right-wing doomers. Left wing doomers are all fedoras. What is with being autistic and being obsessed with religion?
 

Arm Pit Cream

🌊💪🏻🌴White Boy Summer Has Commenced🍹🤜🌊
www.lolcow.org
Person of Interest
Confrimed Drama Goblin
This guy was in chat making up shit about me somehow I was personally gaining from having edgy opinions this morning? Null banned me from chat without reason and then when I dm'd him to ask him why, he rambled on about splinter sites and "drama". Anything to protect his savior's freedom of speech image I guess.
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lol
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Arm Pit Cream

🌊💪🏻🌴White Boy Summer Has Commenced🍹🤜🌊
www.lolcow.org
Person of Interest
Confrimed Drama Goblin
Wolfetone had a huge meltdown in chat this morning for an hour over Bernie Sanders, talking about how nobody in chat could compare to Chad Bernie, how the election was rigged and how he single-handedly ended the Cold War.
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He actually donated lmao
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WolfeTone rejects marxism as a capitalist social democrat. It's not like in the OP he goes on about the "dole"
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The Fool

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Brave™ User
Wolfetone is a socialist??? horseshoe theory confirmed.
>I LOVE TRUMP! CAPITALISM IS THE GREATEST!
>trump fails to eradicate all minorities
>capitalism allows corporations to bar you from their private property (website)
>HAIL STALIN! FUCK THAT LIBERAL CUCK TRUMP AND HIS BROKEN ECCONOMIC SYSTEM!
 

Arm Pit Cream

🌊💪🏻🌴White Boy Summer Has Commenced🍹🤜🌊
www.lolcow.org
Person of Interest
Confrimed Drama Goblin
The resident criminologist has entered chat, I wonder which prison gang he joined?
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The Fool

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Brave™ User
He was in a county jail for 30 days and he's acting like he joined a violent gang while serving 20 to life in a federal prison.

I've actually read some stories on what it's like in a regular ol' jail. It's just boring. That's all they ever say. "Met some cool guys, some guys really regret what they did. Didn't get a lot of fresh air. Mostly just boring."
 

Arm Pit Cream

🌊💪🏻🌴White Boy Summer Has Commenced🍹🤜🌊
www.lolcow.org
Person of Interest
Confrimed Drama Goblin
He was informed about the thread and took it pretty well, although I don't think he really understood since you can't link stuff on Kiwi Farms. He thinks there's a thread on him in supporters on KF, but it's more like just large portions of the best of chat thread. It'd be interesting to see his reaction to the thread itself however.
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