"Candice, how did you pay off your house?"
"My boyfriend and I had a fight over a five dollar bill so he tried to burn me and my insufferable son alive in it and my insurance company cut me a check."
"Dayum, girl, you're life is like a Horatio Alger story."

Fat Kenneth Erwin Engelhardt / “Kengle”/ Sailfish / Onionnull / Godzilla - Yeah.

{o}P II

off with his head man
www.lolcow.org
OP in progress

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Kenneth Erwin Engelhardt, 61, at first comes of as a harmless old man, struggling to grasp the finer points of lolcow culture. But looks can be deceiving.. He is in fact a deeply narcissistic and self obsessed person and who creates enemies in his head to cope with his own shortcomings.

This OP will only deal with his history as administrator on Onion Farms as its a great way of explaining his character and has very little documentation in his Kiwi Farms thread.

After being banned for making a joke domestic terrorism threat legitimate enough sounding to elicit interest from the FBI after a troll report filed by a user known on Onion Farms as Vex, that Kiwi Farms user SIGSEGV sought refuge on a forum called Onion Farms created by the thread subject. It had previously only been mentioned in passing as a in-joke on the forums and was never taken seriously as a genuine competitor. The forum had no real community (besides weening Kiwis, including SIGSEGV the night before his banning after a KF shutdown scare, Kengle and his fellow thread subject A-Ville Media a.k.a Cybertron) and seemed to focus on seemingly random niche subjects which were given subforums that were made and deleted seemingly at random. When I first joined I distinctly remember it was impossible to view users names if you hovered over them because links were the same colour as the background.

SIGSEGV and another user going by Cjöcker eventually were given administrator powers by Kenneth to help build the forum.

KENGLE THREAD SAGA

The first controversy came with Kenneth’s insistence for thread subjects to be “public figures” only. This required them to have 20’000 followers combined on social media. anyone lower than this were considered “lesser cows” regardless of their interest on Kiwi Farms. It’s clear than Kenneth considered the more famous someone is the juicer the gossip and the more entertaining the thread. He even created a “public figure tier level” to gauge how famous someone was and assign a number from 1-7. Here’s an exert from the horrifyingly autistic chart.

“Category 5: (Borderline Celebrity) May be followed by news media but not celebrity tabloids. May or may not have a biography in the Wikipedia. These people will be referenced in related articles. Strongly documented in numerous alternative wikis and may be vigorously followed on gossip forums or discussion forums. Well known internet public figure with a very large and vigorous following on the internet The typical follower/subscriber range from all social media is from 10^5 (100,000 followers) to 10^6 (1,000,000) with rigorous interaction. Famous for podcasts and streams These people are officially verified on at least one major social media channel such as Twitter, YouTube, Facebook. These people are generally on the borderline between a public figure and a celebrity. Borderline Celebrity.”

Also of note was his refusal to host a thread on himself. This was mainly spearheaded by myself and for Kiwi Farms Moderator Yawning Sneasel. His excuses were very varied, That since their was also a thread on him on Kiwi Farms that it wasn’t needed, which is questionable considering that there was threads for cows already on Kiwi Farms on Onion Farms. Another was that threads on staff affected “morale” and that staff are the “glue of the site” which is an interesting description of how Ken viewed his job on the forum, To guide users towards the content he wanted to see on the forum. The many subforms were on subjects he felt people should look into to fill a subform with content.


In any case i was eventually thrown in a containment forum by SIGSEGV for constantly trying to push Ken’s buttons and start arguments in unrelated threads (which involved an incident where he locked a thread on because i was criticising him in it)
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But at the time i was met with major backlash on the forum.
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It makes his eventual downfall all the more meaningful. People didn’t care about Kengle’s thread or his past actions that made him a lolcow. He likes to spin that i posioned the forum against him with old decade old screenshots but i simply posted them because they were funny. You can’t attempt to get CWC to make porn under your real name on Facebook and expect to not have it brought up. Another interesting part was his constant efforts to explain away his lolcowdom. For example, pictured below is his extremely autistic reasoning to not be a lolcow collector. Also included is him trying to explain away his habit of boiling burgers. And writing in the third person for some reason.
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After three bans i finally put up a shitty thread that i wrote in about an hour so i could have a thread on him. The first trouble came when he locked the thread after a week or so because he claimed there was “smears” in it. He never explained what the smears were but i assume it was my theroy that his ex wife was only with him for a short time to gain a permanent entry visa. I later made a new thread with this removed and replaced by going into the famous mail order bride theory. Then at some point without my knowledge he edited the OP into a hideous vanity piece in which he replaced a part that said he matched Chris Chan in levels of delusion and ego with saying he was “legendary” and removed parts that embarrassed him like the infamous Hershey’s Kisses incident and tried to explain away his blame in instigating Chris’s blue arms obsession. He never clarfied that this was his edit and made it look like the autistic drivel was my own words.

THE MERCHANDISE DEBACLE

Ken somehow got it into his head that Onion Farms was a potential business and quickly set about capitalising on it.

It’s interesting to note that he always used “we” when describing his efforts despite him being the only one to pocket the hypothetical profits. Showing his age, His idea was to set up a redbubble shop and sell t-shirts and mugs with a Onion Farms design.

At first it was expected to be the logo kindly donated to the forum by user Spedestrian. But Ken believed that he would be banned from Redbubble due to the sites controversial content. His original idea was to word filter “nigger” to “dingus” (Later changed to “roody poo” by SIGSEGV) and “kike” to “nincompoop” and add a diversity statement at the top of the forum presumably believing that Redbubble staff would read this while doing an investigation instead of just banning his account to avoid controversy. Both of these actions were widely mocked on the forum including an original copypasta sent as a alert to all users by SIGSEGV.

“youve gone and done it now mr high and mighty admin. you just had to take away our right to say nigga with the hard R like the FAT FUCK you are. Well we of the onion farms wont stand for this. not now and not ever. We DEMAND 2 things:1. Reinstatement of our nigga (with the hard R) Privileges2. You WILL upload a picture of your gunt (slang for stomach) with the words ¨im a stupid roody-poo¨ written in marker as a public apology for having the sheer AUDACITY to take away our nigga (with the Hard R) RightsAnd If you are a onion farms user reading this make sure you copy and paste this EVERYWHERE so @Sailfish Knows we will not take this lying down...”

In response the the backlash, Ken removed the word filters and instead hatched a plan for a second Onion Farms unrelated to the forum that never materialised. As part of this he changed Spedestrian’s site logo to something completely hideous and embarrassing that he made himself.

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It’s important to note that that is usually squeezed in at the top of the page making the text unreadable. It’s also the same colour as the alert icon and that took a while to get used to for me.

The design itself was later reused as a site background and needless to say it looks absolutely hideous and vastly inferior to Spedestrian’s artstyle.


CHRIS BREAKS KEN’S HEART
After being invited to a discord clique by Onion Farms user and CWC “Watchman” Naught that was also inhabited by youtube documentary maker and streamer WCT (Chairmen Miazor on Onion Farms). During one of his streams me and other people pressured him to talk about Kengle with me sending in screenshots of things he had said over the years along with pictures he had taken of himself over the years (including the infamous slide picture which seems to provoke particular bile in him). By pure chance CWC was in the chat after getting crashing his car and was reporting to WCT on the incident (WCT is also a member of the CWC “Watchmen”, A group playing along with Chris’s delusions to stop the fat oaf from tasering himself to bring on a imaginary apocalypse forgetting the old adage that chris is his own worst troll.), Chris then proceeded to mock Ken in the live chat commenting negatively on his appearance and how he barely remembers interacting with him. the next day After Ken made a compromise on his thread by making a subfourm hidden to guests for “lolcow screencaps” (since the thread was mainly me posting old screencaps from his Kiwi thread) i posted about it and after demanding screenshots and links (which i gave him) he eventually gave me a vague bullshit ban that was lifted after an hour after he met opposition from SIGSEGV.
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The documentary he is talking about was something that WCT suggested for me to help him with and i accepted thinking it would piss of Kengle but later declined since i thought it was wrong to do something on that scale just to torment someone and watch their reaction. Ken later made out that this was a failed troll attempt against him, in which i tricked WCT into going along with it.

THE STRAW THAT BROKE THE CAMELS BACK

To be fair to Ken i don’t think his modding of lolcow Taylor Pickens had anything to do with a lust for tranny cock.

OTHER TIDBITS



- Ken’s OPs are terrible and are just a collection of links with no screenshots, archives or original writing. When he does include original writing like in his Nigeria mega thread it usually has a overuse of phrases though this aplies to all his forum posts.



WHERE KEN WENT WRONG

Inability to separate his interests with those of his userbase - The amount of subforms as always been a problem with Onion Farms and even going back in the archives to early last year you can see fourms on subjects as baffling as Nursing Support and Utah. He only gave subforms to thing he was interested in (or the intrests of lolcow’s he was trying to collect) and pretty much shunned everything else. Particular subjects such as Nigeria and the Kardashians appeared to get particularly forced on the site despite the constant mocking and users making their disinterest very clear.

Refusal to listen to advice -

Obsession over self image -

Schizophrenic beliefs about his own users - He believed that mutiple users were trying to undermine him and stage a “coup” against the site.
 

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{o}P II

off with his head man
www.lolcow.org
What does this mean?
He still does bookkeeping which is apparently something you only do when you start off. Basically he’s never went up in the world. He went through a period in the mid 10s of getting random degrees from college like a certified nurses assistant and a computer one (i don’t think he ever took this in the end). From the sounds of it he doesn’t intend to retire anytime soon. The computer one was because he worried he’d be too old to do nursing.
 

Taylor Pickens

www.lolcow.org
People don't HAVE to retire at 65, it's just a suggestion. If you work a low-labor job that isn't physically demanding I don't see why you'd retire that early tbh
 

{o}P II

off with his head man
www.lolcow.org
People don't HAVE to retire at 65, it's just a suggestion. If you work a low-labor job that isn't physically demanding I don't see why you'd retire that early tbh
Because who wants to work till they die lel. Would you not rather relax, travel, and focus on your hobbies and friends and family?
 

Taylor Pickens

www.lolcow.org
Because who wants to work till they die lel. Would you not rather relax, travel, and focus on your hobbies and friends and family?
That can wait until 70 tbh dam

People who do sports retire before they're 40 because they start to lose their peak physical abilities.
 
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