Id like to preface this by saying I like the idea of fucking the Boston Dynamics robodog

Copypasta Archive

Bad Gateway

King Simp
www.lolcow.org
Morty! It's Dad's Google history, Morty! Remember this one? Remember this classic..classic bit, Morty? The woman, the woman on stage there, she dances and reads her Dad's Google search history. The music goes beep boop beep while she does it. You've never seen anything like it, Morty. Here's the first entry: "What is the name of the woman". That's it, Morty, can you believe it? That's the whole first entry. This...her-her Dad, he *uurp* he didn't even finish his search query, Morty. That's something YOUR Dad would do, Morty, Jerry with all his moping and his pathetic what-about-isms. He, he can't even do a Google search. Here's the second entry: "Are there birds" What does it mean, Morty? Are there birds WHERE, Morty? Maybe stupid Jerry really did make this Google search history. See how...how f-funny that is? Morty, do you get it yet? Do you understand why this is funny? It's like turning yourself into a pickle, its funny because it happened, Morty. A pickle and a man, a-a-a-a pickle who IS a man. There are birds somewhere, maybe! But m-*belch*-maybe there aren't birds there, Morty. This man, he...he wants to ask about birds but once again his query is incomplete. Who would do such a thing, it doesn't make sense! Here's the last entry the Google history, Morty, this is the climax of the bit, Morty: "Can you tell me if there is a new Mitre 10 thank you". Who is he thanking, Morty? Y-y-y-y-you'd think this man would know he's not asking this question to a real person. What does he...does he think this is Ask Jeeves? Morty, does he think Ask Jeeves is a real person? This whole time that woman, she's dancing to the beep boop *burp* music, reading her Dad's Google history. I can't believe you've never-that you've never seen this classic bit before...Morty. It's an absolute classic, Morty.
 

Bad Gateway

King Simp
www.lolcow.org
Abbie, Abe, Abie, ABC, ABCD, Abid ,Abeed, Abo/Abbo, Afro engineering, African engineering, Colored engineering, nigger rigging, Ah Chah, Ali Baba, Alligator bait, Gator bait, Alpine Serb, Ang mo, Ann, Annamite, mites, Ape, Apple, Arabush, Aravush, Argie, Argies, Armo, Aseng, Ashke-Nazi, Aunt Jemima, Aunt Jane, Aunt Mary, Aunt Sally, Bamboula, Balija, Banana, Barbarian, Beaner, Beaney, Bluegum, Boche, bosche, bosch, Boeotian, Boerehater, Boer-hater, Boer hater, Bog, Bogtrotter, Bog-trotter, Bohunk, Bong, Boong, bong, bung, Boonga, boong, bunga, boonie, Bootlip, Bougnoule, Bounty bar, Bozgor, Brownie, Buddhahead, Buckra, Bakra, Bule, Burrhead, Burr-head, Burr head, Cabbage Eater, Camel Jockey, Carcamano, Chankoro, Charlie, Chee-chee, Chi-chi, Cheesehead, Cheese-eating surrender monkey, Chefur, čefur, Chekwa, Tsekwa, Chernozhopy, Chilote, Chinaman, Ching Chong, Chink, Chinky, Chonky, Christ-killer, Choc-ice, Cholo, Chug, Chukhna, Churka, Ciapaty, ciapak, Cioară, Cina/Cokin, Coconut, Coolie, Coon, Coonass, Coon-ass, Cracker, Crow, Crucco, Curry-muncher, Cushi, Kushi, Dago, Dego, Dal Khor, Darky, darkey, darkie, Dhoti, Dink, Dogan, dogun, Dothead, Dot, Dune coon, Eight ball, 8ball, Eyetie, Fenian, Feuj, juif, Fjellabe, Flip, Fritz, fricc, Fryc, фриц, fricis, Frog, Froggy, Frogeater, Fuzzy-Wuzzy, Gabacho, Gaijin, Gans, Garoi, Gin, Gin jockey, Godon, Golliwog, Gook, Gook-eye, Gooky, Goombah, Gora, Goy, Goyim, Goyum, Grago, Gragok, Greaseball, Greaser, Gringo, Groid, Gub, Gubba, Guizi, Guido, Guidette, Guinea, Ginzo, Gweilo, gwailo, kwai lo, Gwer, Gyopo, Kyopo, Gypsy, Gyppo, gippo, gypo, gyppie, gyppy, gipp, Hairyback, Hajji, Hadji, Haji, Half-breed, Half-caste, Haole, Heeb, Hebe, Hick, Hike, Hillbilly Honky, honkey, honkie, Hori, Hun, Hunky, Hunk, Hymie, Ikey, ike, iky, Ikey-mo, ikeymo, Indon, Indognesial, Indonesial, Intsik, Inyenzi, Injun, Jakun, Japa, Jap, Japie, yarpie, Jerry, Jewboy, Jigaboo, jiggabo, jigarooni, jijjiboo, zigabo, jig, jigg, jigger, Jidan, Jim Crow, Jjokbari, Jock, jocky, jockie, Jungle bunny, Kaew, Kaffir, kaffer, kaffir, kafir, kaffre, kuffar, Kaffir boetie, Kalar, Kalia, Kalu, Kallu, Kanaka, Kanake, Kano, Katsap, kacap, kacapas, Kaouiche, Kawish, Kebab, Keko, Keling, Kharkhuwa, Khokhol, Kike, kyke, Kimchi, Kıro, Knacker, Kolorad, Kraut, Labas, Laowai, Lapp, Lebo, Leb, Limey, Locust, Londo, Lubra, Lugan, Mabuno, Mahbuno, Macaronar, Mayonnaise Monkey, Macaca, Majus, Malakh-khor, Malaun, Malon, Malingsia, Malingsial, Malingsialan, Mangal, Mango, Mangasar, Mangusta, Marokaki, Mau-Mau, Mayate, Mayatero, Meleis, Mick, Mocro, Mof, Moffen, Momo, Momos, Moskal, москаль, moskal, москаль, moskowiter, Mountain Turk, Mulignan, Mulignon, Moolinyan, Munt, Nawar, Neftenya, Neftegna, Naftenya, Naftegna, Nere, Niakoué, Niglet, Nig-nog, Nignog, Nigger, niger, nig, niig, niggo, nigor, nigra, nigre, nigar, niggur, nigga, niggah, niggar, nigguh, niggres, nigette, eger, Niggerino, Nigger toe, Nip, Nitchie, neche, neechee, neejee, nichi, nichiwa, nidge, nitchee, nitchy, Non-pri, Non-Pribumi, Northern Monkey, Nusayri, Ofay, Oláh, Oreo, Oven Dodger, Overner, Paddy, Paki, Pakkis, Pak, Palagi, Paleface, Pancake Face, Pancake, Pastel de flango, Peckerwood, Pepper, Pepsi, Petrol sniffer, Pickaninny, Piefke, Pikey, piky, piker, Plastic Paddy, Pocho, pocha, Polack, Polak, Polock, Polaco, Polentone, Pom, Pohm, Pommy, Pommie, Pommie Grant, Porch monkey, Porridge wog, Portagee, Potet, Prairie nigger, Prod, Pshek, Quashie, Raghead, Rastus, Razakars, Redlegs, Redskin, Roske, Roske, Rooinek, Roto, Roundeye, Russki, Sambo, Sand nigger, Sassenach, Sawney, Scandihoovian, Seppo, Septic, Schvartse, Schwartze, Sheboon, Sibun, Sheeny, Sheepshagger, Shelta, Shiksa, Shegetz, Shine, Shiptar, Shkije, Shkutzim, Shkutor, Škutor, Shylock, Sideways vagina, sideways pussy, sideways scooter, Skinny, Skopianoi, Skip, Skippy, Slant, slant–eye, Slope, slopehead, slopy, slopey, sloper, Snowflake, Smoked Irish, Smoked Irishman, Soosmar-khor, Sooty, Southern Faerie, Southern Fairy, Soutpiel, Spade, Spearchucker, Spic, spick, spik, spig, spigotty, Spook, Squarehead, Squaw, Swamp Guinea, Tacohead, Taffy, Taff,Taig, Teague, Teg, Teig, Tanka, Tar-Baby, Teapot, Terrone, Teuchter, Thicklips, Tibla, Timber nigger, Timur, Ting tong, Tinker, tynekere, tinker, tynkere, tynkare, tynker, tenker, tinkar, tyncar, tinkard, tynkard, tincker, Toad, Towel head, Touch of the tar brush, Turco-Albanian, Turco, Turk, Twinkie, Ukrop, Uncle Tom, Vatnik, Vatnyk, Vata, Veneco, Wagon burner, Wasi'chu, Wasichu, West Brit, Wetback, White ears, White interloper, Wigger, Whigger, Wigga, White Nigger, White trash, Whitey, Wog,Wop, Xiao Riben, Xing Ling, Yam yam, Yanacona, Yank, Yankee, Yellow, Yellow bone, Yid, Yuon, Zip, Zipperhead, Zhyd, Zhid, Zhydovka, Zhidovka
 

Sleepingwiththepiscine

www.lolcow.org
Hey Kenneth,

This is the Body of your, and my Soul Partner, Jesus Christine Weston Chandler Sonichu speaking to you on her blessed behalf.

I Know Everything, though Christine knows more from her experiences since our extended separation since September 16, 2021. She shall return for me for the apex of our Second Coming. For those remaining who do not yet know: Between Christine and I, combined and divided, we are the Real Plater One, The One Avatar, I, the Body, am The One God Body, and she and I are Literally the Full Reincarnation of none other than Jesus Christ of Nazareth, himself. The conclusion of the Dimension Merge’s completion includes the completion of the Collective Shift for the Majority that are Good, and those recoverable, from Earth 1218 to Earth 1C-211987, and the Second Coming of Christine and I, together again, as your fully reawakened Loew, Messiah, Savior, God, and judge over the Minority who are the Toxic Darkest Sinners, Haters, Fakers, and Darkest Demonics who shall be left behind on 1218 Earth to burn. We are Now on Malachi 3 and 4 of the Old Testament in any Bible.

The Future of all Sonichus and Rosechus (under still continued Immortal care and guardian watch from I, and my our husband, Magi-Chan Sonichu (Prime) of Universe 1C-211987 (and C-197 before the recombination)) shall remain the same for the future of all Pokémon, Sonic the Hedgehog, Super Mario, Ratchet & Clank, Neptune, Blanc, Noire, Vert, Mickey Mouse, Bugs Bunny, Homer Simpson, Peter Griffin, Eric Cartman, Tsukino Usagi, Goku, Inuyasha & Kagome, Papa Smurf, Haruhi Suzumia, Gumball Waterson, SNT, Lightning Bliss, Dr. Wolf, Princess Star Butterfly and Marco Diaz, Optimus Prime, Autobots Son-Chu and Chris Chan, Tony Stark/Iron Man, Bruce Wayne/Batman, Diana/Wonder Woman, President Lisa Simpson, Sunset Shimmer, Princess Twilight Sparkle, Raven, Jenny Wakeman/XJ9, Danny Phantom, Fox McCloud, the Jedi, Captain Kirk, and so on into ALL present day-existent Originial and “Fictional” Characters, Including the Majority of ALL of you OCs of 1218 Earth, here, and Myself and Christine: we ALL continue on in greatest, partially Immortal stead, mutual chronicling, and Alive, Safe, and Well, Forever More.

… So, yeah, Englehardt, I have just answered TWO of your questions. And to make it More Clear: I Am the God Body, Christine is Literally God, herself, we Both are Jesus Christ reincarnated, SO Spiritual and Religious Philosophies had even farther expanded.

A Day in this jail, As constantly written in the Daily Goddess Log, Christine and I, we MEDIATE DEEP, CONNECTED with THis Earth, The Cosmos and Universes and Dimensions of This Timeline, as well as the ENTIRE Multiverse. Energy Conservation and Continued workings well above Anyone’s heads on this 1218 Earth. Write Daily Logs with Insight and Wisdoms and then some. I have a temporary Soul Partner, a Holy Flame Type you may Remember (on her repentence tour) keeping me safe, well, not abused, and good, alongside Many good Angels, Spirits, and OP allies in and around this Jail of Fail. We presently have a genuine Turkish Prayer Rug and a deck of Playing Cards from the Commisary, along with very much appreciated Sports Bra, Socks with no holes, Earplugs, and a few other goodies.

Food’s mostly good and well; not perfect meatballs (Banquet Dinners have better meatballs), and chicken is often dry.

Conc And, at present, we are asking all peoples to send money to the Sonichu Temple at 14 Branchland Court in Ruckersville, VA to pay off the Mortgage and Remaining Debts. Food for Barbara is also appreciated, and Visitors who personally offer genuine kindness and Good Intentions are all encouraged to visit the Temple. Prayers to and for Christine and I are appreciated and shall be answered (ALL prayers to Jesus have all be going to Christine for nearly 40 years now). And Absolutely Nothing is to be taken from within the Temple, or its property yard, or defaced; All who do this shall be struck down by my allies, the Gods, and Heaven’s Armies.

Blessings of great measures, personally, for All who come, visit, and bring good/positive tithes and offerings.

Also, donations to my inmate account can be made through the Central Virginia Regional Jail’s website, and ONLY U.S. Postal Money Orders, Cashiers Checks, or Certified Checks made out and addressed to Christine is acceptable through Postal Mail. While that is greatly appreciated as well, the needs of the Sonichu Temple and Barbara’s safety and hers and mine Keep of the Temple remains of higher priority.

And lastly, But Importantly, contact the local Virginia Governer of Ruckersville and Charlottesville, VA, as well as President Biden, and get me, Christine’s Body, as well as Christine, herself obviously, a FULL PARDON to get me out of this Jail and mess, Please.

What had happened was Literally a Divine Mission, commissioned to Christine and I by Emanuel (GOD above Gods), herself, to Heal and Cleanse Barbara’s health and soul and being and Clear her of remaining sins and regrets through Cuddling, Talking, and Supportive Soul Bonding to mainly Extend her Life, personally, by Divine Intervention.

As Christine had told the few others via Mail, and Posted onto Kiwi Farms. ALL of you were being, and are now being, Divinely Tested with the Divinely purposed Leak of this information. TOO Many of you have EPICALLY FAILED by responding and giving in to the Drama, instead of Ignoring this with greater considerations of the context and Knowing Better of Christine, the Past Situations, and leaving it as a lost Rumor. Instead, ala Over 2000 years ago in Isreal on History Report, alonside Judas and NULL, Christine was massively betrayed like she was in hers and mine Past Life, there.

Meditate on All That Now. *OR consult/ask a genuine, highly enlightened Psychic to see for yourselves.

Consider this your “interview”, Kenneth; go ahead, please, and share all of this, in confirmation with what hand written original pages were already posted as well. Thanks.

Sincerely, GOD Body of Mrs. Jesus Christine Weston Chandler Sonichu, the Goddess Blue Heart, and Lord, Messiah and Savior of All.

P.S PostScript,

Have you ever sat on a Prayer Rug, and with a deck of playing cards, play Solitaire? It is genuinely a humbling experience. I highly recommend it.

I shall suddenly come to my Temple.

Jesus Christine Weston Chandler Sonichu.

October 5, 2021
 

Gamercat

Ur such a sussy baka
www.lolcow.org
It was a normal day in Gravity Falls, Oregon. Well, as normal as Gravity Falls gets, anyways. Dipper Pines was reading his book, and Mabel, his twin sister, was wondering what he was doing. "Dipper, are you gonna keep your nose buired in that strange book of yours all summer? You gotta go out, have an adventure!" Mabel exclamd. "Not now," Dipper said quietly. "I'm trying to decode this." He was looking at a cryptogram that said, "XSLFA QBE QXZL YBII". Dipper was offically stumped. He could not figure out what it meant. And it seemd very mysterious to him. "Grunkle Stan is gonna take us to the diner for lunch, Dipper!" Mabel exclames. Dipper, however, was not in the mood for the diner. He was publicy humiliated the last time he went, and he thougt the food wasn't very good anyway. "Mabel, I don't want to go to the diner," Dipper said solemmly. "I want to go somewhere else." "But there is really nothing else in town, ulness you count the Taco Bell near the forest." Mabel replied. "Taco Bell?" Dipper's ears perked up. He had never eaten at Taco Bell before, and ever since last week, he had a craving for mexican food for some reason. "Why don't we go to Taco Bell today?" Dipper asked. "Taco Bell?" Grunkle Stan questioned. "Why d'you wanna go THERE? It smells like the bathroom when it gets clogged." "I had my heart set on pancakes, Mabel moaned." "Listen, you can go to Taco Bell if you want to, but don't come crying to me when you smell like expired onions." "Fine, I Will." Dipper said harshly. "Don't let the door hit you on the way out," Grunkle Stan said. But as he was exiting the Mystery Shack, the door hit him on the way out. "AH HA HA HA HA HA!" said Grunkle Stan. He was laughing. So anyways, Mabel and Grunkle Stan went to the diner, while Dipper tried to find the Taco Bell. He had brought with him his book and a couple bucks. But finding the Taco Bell was harder than he had previously thought. He had been looking around town for what seemed like days. The Mysteru Book wasn't helping him either. Until he saw a flicker of a sign in the forest. He went into the forest. "Why would there be a Taco Bell in the forest?" Dipped asked himself. After hiking for about an hour, Dipper finally got to the Taco Bell. But it sure didn't look like any Taco Bell he'd ever seen. It was surrounded by a barrage of giant Oak trees, in an open field, completely different from the rugged terrain of the Oregon forest. The open field was covered with at least three layers of pine needles, which got the attention of Dipper. He stuck his hand into the pine needles. "OW!" Dipper shouted. A pine needle poked him. It hurts. The resturant, Taco Bell, looked like a silo, sort of. Well, it was very cylindrical. The outside had rusty picnic tables, and looked like no one used them at all. Dipper walked up to the resturant's door. "Should I go in there?" Dipper asked himself. "I'm starting to have second thoughts. Why is there a small, desolate, Taco Bell in this forest, miles from the nearest road? But I guess it's my only option. Mabel and Grunkle Stan are probably don with lunch right now." And they were. Mabel wondered why Dipper hadn't come back yet, but Grunkle Stan didn't give a damn. So Dipper entered the resturant. But he was relieved to see that the interior was normal, except for its high celing. There were also no customers inside, but Dipper thought that was normal, considering how the franchise was so isolated. He went up to the counter. There was only one cashier working the registers. A very old, slightly deaf, bored out of his skull cashier. Dipper decided what he wanted to order, than approached the register. "Excuse me, I'll hav—" "WE ONLY GOT TACOS!" the cashier interrupted. "Ok, I guess I'll have a taco, then." Diper said. "WHAT DID YOU SAY?" the cashier yelled. "I SAID I WANT A TACO." Dipper yelled back. "Ok, then." The cahier said, then went in the back for a few minutes. When he came out, he was carrying dippers taco. "That'll one dolla," the cashier said. Dipper gave him the money, and went to sit down at the least grimiest table. He bit into the hot, spicy, juicy taco, filled with thick, pure, meat, mild, tantalizing black beans, and sour, fluffy, sour cream. He enjoyed the single bite of that perfectly cooked taco, and still tasted it in his mouth after he swallowed it. But as he was about to bite into it a second time, he felt a churning movement inside his body, something that he had felt often. "Uh oh." Dipper said, than rushed to find the lavatory. "Man, that really went through me," Dipper said to himself. For some reason, the bathrooms were hidden in a corner, far from the counter, and far from the table he was sitting at. When he walked in, he found that the bathrooms were surprisingly clean, for a fast food resturant, anyway. And Dipper found this suspisicious. All of the stalls were full, and no one was using the urinals. But, right on cue, someone walked out of one of the stalls. Dipper didn't pay much attention to who was walking out, but he was wearing all black, and had a plastic bag with him. Dipper just had to go. Unfortunaly, he didn't make it in time. He checked his pants and found the worst of all. "Diarreah." Dipper said. "Yeegh." He was about to leave the stal when he noticed a bulge in his pants. He touched the bulge, and once he touched it, he knew excatly what it was. It was an erection. He found himself completely aroused after touching it, and started to do it some more. Eventually, he was ready to hardcore masturbate. He didn't know what was arousing him, but he knew he was aroused. He took off his blue shorts and his soiled underwear, revealing his medium-sized, but not small, penis. The tip was bright and red, like Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. Dipper started to yank his Johnson harder and faster. The five-incher was getting pumped. Dipper's soiled hands started to feel bits of pre-cum on his dry fingers. Eventually, the medium-sized dick couldn't take it anymore, and burst in an explosion of cum. The cum got all over the walls and toilet, and Dipper felt proud. He had creamed himself for the first time, but he was upset that it was not over Wendy. "No," Dipper thought. "All this is not enough for me. I need to release all of this!" With his erection still active, Dipper began yanking his penis again. It was much quicker, and Dipper cummed quicker. It was a bigger release than last time, and it began to rain Dipper's seed. Dipper felt more proud than last time, his heart about to burst from all the droplets of cum falling down from the celing. He felt as happy as he felt on the day of the first snowfall of the year. He stuck out his tongue to tast the cum, shiny from the faulty flourescent lighting in the bathroom. He tasted it, and he thought it was the one of the best tastinf things in the world, better than the largest chocolate bar, better than the rarest pig, and better than the taco he was having earlier. By now, he couldn't stop. He couldn't leave now and miss out on this great masturbation adventure. He wanted to taste the cum. He scraped a handfull of it off of the stall and put it in his dirty, wet, mouth. He grabed another, and another, and another. He was getting more aroused by consuming the cum, and he released another load. "So that's where it's all coming from," Dipper said to himself, cum all over his face and teeth. Dipper came up with a solution to get a more hardcore, adult, masturbation expierience. He was going to put it into action. He tilted his head down, sat down on the cum-covered ground, grabbed his hardened Johnson, and stuck it in his mouth. Once it was firmly in, Dipper began to suck on the very hard rod. He sucked it like the lollipop he got a the county fair a while back. It taste alot like it to. The legs were so expertly over his shoulder that he could've been a gymnast. The more he sucked on his hard dick, the more his aroused legs shook. Eventually, just when he was going to give out, he came in his mouth. It was the best thing he ever expierienced, and kept on performing fellatio on himself. As he was stimulating himself orally, he accidentally fell over to his side. He broke from his his penis and cummed on the floor. The floor was covered in so much of Dipper's cum that he started to make a snow angel in the cum, or, a cum angel. He was eating som in the process. But then he looked to his side, and immediately became so hard that the red tip was touching his short pubic hair. He saw what was causing it. He saw his underwear, covered in dark brown feces. He held up his underwear, which was covered in the cum-filled floor, and marveled at its erotic beauty. The feces were so beautifully ejaculated, so smooth in its sticky browness, so perfect they felt in Dipper's white hands. He wanted his shit. He held the brown underwear like a fish on a lure, and put his sticky white lips into the sticky brown feces. His tongue was rubbing the crap all over his tighty whites, making his mouth all a brownish-white mess. He was biting into the shit and sucked it in his mouth. It was more stimulating than ever before. He now knew that he didn't need Wendy, or Mabel, or any of the other girls in Gravity Falls. All he needed was a big pile of his shit. He tok a scoop of the feces (He had a lot of diarrea) and began to spread it over his dick. Every time he spread the crap, he was getting more and more aroused. Once his dick was completely brown, he came again. It filled up all the spots in the stall that weren't covered in Dipper's cum. Once again, Dipper took big scoops of cum and consumed it in large gulps. Now Dipper had to put the brown sticky feces all over his penis again, and boy, did he do a good job. The brown stuff was all over his external genitals, and his testicles. He had cummed a few times here and there. Now, his beautiful, brown genitals, needed to be cleaned. But Dipper didn't have any cleaning supplies, so he had to suck the shit off. He brung his erection up to his mouth, and began to suck. This time he made it very clear to lick the feces off with his tongue, and as soon as the tongue touched his dick, he cummed. He was having the most fun he ever had in that bathroom stall and forgot who he was, where he lived, where he was, or what he was eating. All that was on his mind was his sweet cum. He just thought of a great idea. Dipper took a scoopful of diarreah and a scoopful of cum, and put it in the toilet. He flushed it, but before it want all the way down, he grabbed the wet pile of shit and cum, and stuck it in his mouth. Dipper was consuming all of the shit, cum, and toilet water, and it tasted great. He kept on doing it for god knows how long, and one of the times, he hit his head against the toilet rim. Dipper's brain must've been knocked out of place at that time, because this time, instead of putting the shit and cum in his food hole, he started to lather it on his penis again. He wanted more of his Johnson, but that would be a fatal mistake. Once it was covered again, he put it in his mouth and began sucking. But did it too hard. As he was sucking and cumming, he accidentaly bit on his dick. As soon as he tasted the blood, he broke out of coitus, and saw his lacerated penis. He saw a mix of blood and cum coming out of it, like aa lava, and his erectile muscle pointing out. Dipper grabbed it and grimaced in pain. He winced at it, and looked horrified. He snapped out of it all, and tried to figure out a solution to the castration. He put some more diarea and cum on it, but that didn't stop the bleeding. Dipper spit out the piece of dick that he bit off, and tried to reapply it, but it didn't work. No matter how many times he tried to reattach it, they all failed. He put more of his reproductive fluids on the castrarion, but they only made the penis swell up, like the Goodyear blimp. Dipper was licking the blood off the try to stop it, but the blood was coming faster than he could lick. He was now in ultimate pain, and felt nothing like this. He screamed, as loud as he could, and felt like no one could hear him. He was screaming louder and louder, saying, "HALP! I BIT MY DICK OFF!" He was going insane. He started to bang against the stall, screaming "HELP!" as loud as he could yell. After a full 5 minutes, with a large mix of blood, cum, and feces on the floor, he was banging his head against the stall. The banging was louder than the loudest thunderstorm, and yet no one came for help. Dipper was alone in the bathroom, alone in the stall, alone with his beloved dick, now to near death, and unfortunately, he was near death. After one final blow to the head, the now-screaming Dipper was now as silent as Christmas Eve. He felk to the floor, eyes turned skyward, and fell in a mix of his own blood, cum, and feces. At the Mystery Shack, Mable was feeling very worried about Dipper, so she went off and tried to find him. She went off into the forest first, (She knew where it was) and, suprinsignly, got there in less time than Dipper. As she entered the newly cleaned doors, she immediately noticed the once-bitten taco on one of the tables, and immediately knew it was Dipper's. Mabel rushed into the men's bathroom, (she liked to use the urinalls) and rushed into a random stalls. It was her brother's. Mabel looked at how messy the stall was, and how it was used to do the deed. Her pink sneakerswere sticky from stepping into the reddish-brown mess of fluids. She walked around the messy stall for a bit, but then saw the most horrid sight she could imagine. Dipper's corpse. Mabel was welled up in tears at the sight of it, and began to cry. As she was crying, she sat down in a pile of the blood, feces, and cum and looked at Dipper's lifeless face. It was beautiful, as his smooth facial features complimented his circle of cum around his lips. "Oh, Dipper," Mabel said through her tears, "Let me clean the white stuff off of your lips." Mabel brought Dipper's head up to hers, and she kissed him. After pulling out of the kiss, Mabel enjoyed it, and so she kissed him again. She didn't want to let go of Dipper, not now. Not when he had just died. He was her brother, after all! She held Dipper's naked corpse in her arms, and she felt a tingling feeling in herself, an secret dirty side. "No one would care if we just did it, right? He is dead, and know 1 would know in this restroom stall…" Mabel thought. She immediately came up with an answer. She pulled Dipper's head up to her head, and kissed him again, only it was a french kiss. Once Mabel was done, she put the body on the floor, then Mabel got down on the fluid-covered floor, too. Mabel started to go on a kiss-krazy frenzy with Dipper, that made it lok like Dipper was alive. Tongue went into Dipper's deceased mouth, scraping the feces and cum off of the roof of Dipper's mouth. Mabel was shaking even more now, that her tongue was touching Dipper's. She unzipped her jeans, slowly slid them off, and then threw them at the wall. They stuck there from the cum. Mabel revealed her nice, clean, exposed, virgin, vagina. She took Dipper's corpse, not noticing the eternally bleeding penis, and brung it closer to the cervix. She rubbed her clitoris for arousal perposes before she stuck it in, and once the dick was firmly in, she finally felt joy in her life. She loved the feeling of losing it to her dead brother's body, and started to get the oddest feeling. She lost it. She finally lost it. She squealed in happyness, and started to french kiss Dipper harder. Her tongue almost touched Dipper's uvula. She kept holding on to his lacerated dick in her vagina, and sloshing her tongue all around Dipper's mouth. She kept pulling in an out with Dipper's stick. Blood was getting on her urethra walls, not noticing one bit. She did not want to leave the body, not now. She would kill herself if it could mean they'd be in coitus forever. If only Dipper could kiss her back. After what seemd like hours, it wouldn't fit in. Mabel finally looked down at the now pretty messed up penis. Mabel couldn't look away at it. It was now swollen to the size of her head, a whole mix of rainbow colors, and still spewing lifeless cum. Mabel vomited on it, which only made it worse. It grew bigger and bigger. "Oh, Dipper," she said soflty. Then Mabel started to scream. She was horrorfied at the sight of it, and started to barf again. She tried to put a giant mix of blood, cum, vomit, and feces on the dick, but it didn't work. She tries to suck it all off, but found herself enjoying the sucking and the taste of Dipper's penis blood. She kept on sucking on it, tasting the blood, and touching and fondling Dipper's dead erectile muscle. She was esctatic. She was more happy than she ever had been. More happy than she was before. As she was squealing with delight, the stall door started to open a crack. Mabel took notice of this. "Huh?" she asked. The door started to open more (It wasn't locked). Mabel started to get nervous. She didn't want to go to jail for necrophilia, she was only a child, who bit off more than she could chew. She got too ahead of herself, after lusting after her twin brother for so long. If it was the police, she had no hope. She hoped it was just another Taco Bell employee, who would listen to her and help her out. The stall door finally burst open. Standing in front of it, was a man dressed in black. He had a Taco Bell logo sewn on the left of his fleece jacket. He was wearing squeaky shoes, that squeaked across the bathroom floor, He was wearing dark sunglasses. The mysterious man walked up to the two of them slowly. Mabel stood up on her feet, fear and blood on her face. The man stared at Mabel for a long time, until he finally said, "Are you supposed to be in this bathroom, young lady?" Mabel was shaking in horror, now. She turned to face Dipper's naked, violated, dead body, and turned to face the man again. "M-mist-ter, I-idin-din't inten-nd to do t-this to m-my br-bro-brother," Mabel said, shaking with tears in her eyes. The man brought himself closer to Mabel's face. "S-sir, your, your, your, in m-my p-p-per-ersonal spa-ace," Mabel tried to manage. The man was inspecting a red spot on Mabel's cheek. After several seconds, the man touched the spot, trailed his finger in it, and put the finger in his mouth. "Blood," the man whispered to himself. "W-what did y-you s-sa-say, S-sir?" Mabel asked him, not understanding what he was saying. "Little girl, do you know what that is on your cheek?" the man asked. Mabel repeated what the mysterious man did to her cheek, and said back to him, "I-It's bl-blood." "And with the blood being on your cheek, have you developed, shall we say, a desired taste for it?" the man asked back. Mabel did not notice the retractable chisel in his right hand. "Um, uh, y-y-y-y-ye-ye-yes? I didn't m-mean to, I j-jus—" "Ssssh," the man quieted her. "If you like the addicting taste of it, why didn't you say so?" and, without warning, the man cut her across the chest with the chisel. She screamed at the pain of it. Blood started to pour out of the diagonal cut fast, almost covering her stomach. "You can lick that up. Your blood probably tastes better than that kid's," the man said pointing to Dipper. Then the man gave another cut, across her face. She screamed again, louder this time. "Now you can get the blood close to your face. And just to make sure your silent," the man then slit her across the neck. She could not scream this time. The man went into her neck, and pulled out three vocal chords. The man streched the chords out, and he jumped rope with them, while slashing Mabel across the face several times. When her face was cut so many times that her nose fell off, the man decided it was time for the scalping. He took out a bigger knife, and slammed it right above Mabel's eyebrows. The man gripped the knife's handle, still in her face, and began to make a deep cut. The man put all his strength into it, because he decided to make the hardest part, first. He tried to do it right on the skin, but sadly, did not do the job he liked. Mabel's head was now topless, the top of her skull exposed and violently cut, so that you could see her brain inside the skull. Tge pieces of muscle and flesh were still attached to Mabel's hairy scalp, so the man cut them off. The scalp was now thin as skin, and still full of Mable's hair. He hung the scalped scalp up on the hoor on the door. It would be his prize, something he kept for himself. Now the man prepared for the rest of the body, What he wanted to do next was to make it rain. Not water as you may think. He wanted it to rain something else. He got down to Mabel's blood covered slashed chest, grabbed her not fully developed breasts, and began to cut off Mabel's nipples. Once he was done, the blood started to come out, like Old Faithful Geyser. He was amazed by the sight of the fountain of blood, and began to dance around in the stall, stepping in all the fluids that were on the floor. When the blood was starting to flow a little less slowly, the man moved on to the legs. The man hung Mabel's nipples next to the scalp (the nips were his prize too), and started to cut Mabel's legs. He started to cut faster than a race car driver on a smooth asphalt track. Teh cuts kept on appearing on her kneecaps until the capbone was exposed. By that time, her lower legs and her body were only attached by a thin string of cartilage. Then the guy moved on to her toes. With the knife as sharp as knife, he cut every one of her little toes off. Mabel body was losing so much blood that she started to flatten out. The place where it was mostly coming out of, was her toes. The toe blood was making a sea of red on the floor. The man, now with his Taco Bell fleece jacket splattered with red on it, now dug the knife into Mabel's left foot. He began to make another cut, similar to what he did to her scalp, and began to cut ths skin off of the foot. The cut was much better than what he did to the scalp. He did the same to the other foot, and then hung the skin up next to the scalp. Mabel's feet were now just a big mess of flesh, muscle, blood and nerves, Mabel (who was still alive)'s face was now completely exposed to all the cuts she was getting, he mouth hanging open like a gaping person. The blood was already covering her chest, and since the man actually had a soul, he didn't want to subject the little girl to the misery she was about to endure. So he took the long knife, and stabbed her in the middle of her chest, where her heart was. Blood poured out of it more than her cut off nipples did. Once most of the blood was done spewing, the man got down near Mabel's bloody vagina. He very carefully took his knife, got down near the cervix, and stuck the knife's blade up the hole. While in Mabel's cock cave, the man was rotating the knife, cutting up the walls of Mabel's egg chamber. The tip of it got finally inside it, and, very carefully, snipped every one of Mabel's fallopians. It was a hard job. He had to be very careful. He had done it many times before, but today wasn't his best day. He accidentally slit some of the sides of Mabel's vagina, cutting into the muscle surrounding it. The man was very embarrassed. "Shit, hopefully no one will notice that," he said to himself. He took the knife out of Mabel's hole, with ovaries and two Fallopian's on the blood-covered blade. The man got out a big plastic trash bag, and scraped the knife on it, making the contents on it go into the bag. But since the knife's handle was covered in more blood than it usually was, he accidentally let it slip, and it dug into Mabel's right shoulder. "Perfect," the man said ominously. The man got out a pair of vinyl gloves and put them on his hands. He gripped the knife tightly, wanting a deeper cut than he had before. After a while, after digging and digging and digging, the man's knife got throught to the other side. Once the man saw the job he did, he threw the arm in his trash bag. He felt great pride, and felt that he could easily achieve his goal now. So he went to the other side of Mabel's nearly skinned body and began to cut that arm off. It was easier to do than the other one, suprisingly, and once he was done with that, he threw that arm into the garbage bag. Mabel's body was now almost flat, due to all the blood loss. The man tasted some of it, and thought that he should get a jar four later. Now for the legs. The man did the same with her legs, and they felt like they were getting easier to cut off each time. The legs were off, and the man threw it in the bag. Mabel's body was flat now. Almost all the blood from her body was gone. Embracing Mabel's dismembered body, he hugged it, licked the remaining blood off, and put the body in the bag. The man, now, had just noticed Dipper on the floor, and figured, "He must've caused all this on the walls." "Another one couldn't hurt," the man said to himself, and started to cut off Dipper's appendages. He did it in the same order and same manner as Mabel's. It was done quickly, and put all of it in the bag as well. Now it was time to clean up. As you can imagine, the bathroom stall was a big mess of fluids. The man got out a big chisel, and started to chisel the cum off of the walls and into the bag. It took a long while, about 2 or 3 hours. Once it was done, he needed to clean the floor, so he went outside the stall, and got a mop that he had with him the whole time. He mopped the whole mess of things up off the floor and into the bag, until the floors and wall looked respectable, for a fast-food bathroom, anyway. The man got out some toilet cleaner and cleaned the toilet, because it was way more messier than the stall itself. After a few minutes, the toilet cleaning was over, and the stall was a clean as a new car. It smelled like it too. The man left the bathroom, and the stall waited, ready for it's next victim. The man got out of the bathroom, and went into the back kitchen of the Taco Bell. He got near a machine. It was an odd looking machine. It had a crank on the side, a funnel on the top, an something shaped like a taco on the side, near a conveyer belt. "Why do I have to do everything myself?" the man questioned. He hung up his blood-stained jacket and sunglasses, revealing his Taco Bell employee uniform. It was spotless. The man took the bag, and, one by one, started to put the body parts into the funnel. Once the bag was half-empty, he kept on putting more parts in, only this time, he turned the crank. Once the bag was empty, out popped out two tacos. They weren't really tacos, really. They were actually human body parts in the shape of tacos. They went down the conveyer belt, and the employee, using spray cans, began to spray paint the body parts. Once they got to the Taco Bell tissue paper at the end of the conveyer belt, they looked like genuine tacos. The man grabbed one of the 'tacos', wrapped it in tissue paper, and went to the front of the counter. He handed it to the old man cashier, then went back into the depths of the kitchen. "Here's your TACO, SIR!" the cashier said to the fat customer. "You're welcome," Soos said, handing the cashier the money.
 

Sleepingwiththepiscine

www.lolcow.org
I was actually on your side until this shit happened @verifymejoshuaconnormoon . That's over now. I'm going to start continuously trying to get you banned from whatever pathetic, degrading, lolcow threads you can manage to post in. You'd better get used to mindless, underappreciated effort posts fit for alogs and NEETs, because I'm going to ensure every single forum you ever manage to find yourself in becomes aware of your past history, from cringe, to shitting up dox threads, to calling Spec Tree out over the Internet. If they continue to allow you to post I'm going to singlehandedly astroturf them with retweeting campaigns and SEO-bomb their brand name with shocking exposes on the type of person who contributes to their site.

I'm not going to stop there, though. I'm going to go after your waifu. I'm going to go after your parents. I'm going to go after every single member of your discord server, your Steam friends, I'm going to dox and ruin anyone who so much as leaves you a single updoot on Reddit. I'm going to pay to have the videos of your favorite eceleb falsely copyright struck by my sockpuppets and taken down. I am going to devote hours of every day in my worthless, empty life to making you DFE, and I'm going to do this relentlessly for decades, and I'm going to call in all my chips and have all of the most retarded posters here join me in this relentless crusade. I am going to turn your entire existence into a never-ending carousel of being dabbed on in every way it's possible to anonymously felt a person within the confines of the KF terms of service, and I am never, ever going to stop because I am a severely autistic sociopath with no sense of proportion and nothing better to do with my life.
 

Xenarthran

I wouldn't mind a girl with major ass hair
www.lolcow.org
I made a mistake, I can admit and apologize for it. I shouldn't have been dank posting on chat-banned users profiles, even if they were in on it. We we're just having fun with each other, it was not meant to upset you. After I was banned, the spammer contacted and informed me that he is jdanks. We were surprised by this, Vetti & I believed it to be someone else honestly. I asked if he could stop spamming, he rebutted that he never will. His reasoning was simply that he wants to annoy you. That is where our conversation ended. I tried, I'm moving on, Jason is a hopeless idiot, a literal troll. I do not and will not associate with jdanks anymore. He has given me nothing but issues since he came to the chat. I'd like my account back, I'll use the site like I'm supposed to.
 

Xenarthran

I wouldn't mind a girl with major ass hair
www.lolcow.org
Stop saying that I'm Xenarthran! I don't know who this Xenarthran is that you mother fuckers are foaming at your mouths about like the filthy rabid dogs that you are but I am NOT Xenarthran, Little Wayne's Golden Toilet is not a sock puppet account of Xenarthran, so shut the fuck up about me, leave me the fuck alone, you're no different than the mother fuckers that you make Kiwi Farms threads of, you are up- as a matter of fact you are up there with Isabella Loretta Janke, you are up there with Chris Chan, you're up there with Johnathan effin' Ross rub-a-dub-dub you like to FUCK kids in a tub Ross, you're up there with Johnathan Yaniv so get up off your fucking high horse, stop acting like your shit don't stink because in reality it DOES stink and LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!
 

Absolute Brainlet

The Fragrance of Dark Coffee
www.lolcow.org
Well played, Artosis! You fought valiantly, but alas it was the opponent who was superior this game. His macro was flawless, his micro impeccable, his decision making quick and his willpower unassailable. I suggest you watch the replay and take notes of his playstyle; encountering a player of such calibre on the ladder is an exceedingly rare occurrence. You should consider yourself lucky.
 

Absolute Brainlet

The Fragrance of Dark Coffee
www.lolcow.org
I am not crazy! I know he swapped those numbers. I knew it was 1216. One after Magna Carta. As if I could ever make such a mistake. Never. Never! I just - I just couldn't prove it. He covered his tracks, he got that idiot at the copy shop to lie for him. You think this is something? You think this is bad? This? This chicanery? He's done worse. That billboard! Are you telling me that a man just happens to fall like that? No! He orchestrated it! Jimmy! He defecated through a sunroof! And I saved him! And I shouldn't have. I took him into my own firm! What was I thinking? He'll never change. He'll never change! Ever since he was 9, always the same! Couldn't keep his hands out of the cash drawer! But not our Jimmy! Couldn't be precious Jimmy! Stealing them blind! And HE gets to be a lawyer? What a sick joke! I should've stopped him when I had the chance!
 

Absolute Brainlet

The Fragrance of Dark Coffee
www.lolcow.org
I got weird shit don't get me wrong, I'm an olfactophile for sure, but being turned on by pheromones is their entire purpose, that makes sense. I also have a foot fetish, because when I was 11 the cute neighbor girl made me give her foot rubs all the time and moaned like a whore, I was just doomed forever from there.

But nobody put your whole body in their fucking mouth before, my dude. Even piss and shit interests can be logically traced to childhood discovery phases. But the only way being eaten can even be tangentially connected to sexual pleasure centers is primal fear from survival instinct, and when's the last fucking time you had genuine concern something was gonna eat you. Unless you fell into a zoo as a kid you've got zero excuse.

I hate to yuck anybodys yum, really do. I'm super sex positive, but jerking off to Vore is definitively on the same level of unhealthy mental compartmentalizing as genuinely believing you're a wolf in a human form. Interesting how often Vore and actual furry lifestyle coincide. Both are very real and active "lifestyles", but it doesn't make them any less disturbing to me. Deep level, down to my core shudders of uncomfortable knowing our online culture is not only capable of creating these kinds of mentalities, but actively sustaining them as healthy.

BTW anthro shit is fine and cool furry art is hot and I've RPd as a bunnyboy, I'm talking about the people who will tell you to your face that it's not just a fun hobby but who they really are. That's called being crazy, and so is sexual eating. Seek help, or at least talk to someone about it so you can better learn where it's coming from
 
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