I think a lot of people like my hairstyle of not having hair! They say I look cool, ready for anything and that the format of my head is nice.

Fat Amanda/Amari Turcol / LadyALT69 / Manda-Tee / Amarithenonbinary / Amaribabe93 / AmariStrawberry - the lolcow coelacanth


Segmentation fault (core dumped)
Amanda Turcol is like the lolcow version of a coelacanth; she is a living, breathing fossil from a time where the lolcow landscape wasn't crowded with trannies, furfags, and politispergs. Her internet footprint extends back a full decade, and Amanda shows no signs of stopping in her inexorable march as she pursues green goblin husbandos and cheesy noodles.

Goblin dick enthusiast (part one)
Amanda first gained the attention of trolls thanks to her obsession with Jacques, a forgettable Spyro boss whose fight lasts for less than a minute. You're probably wondering if her obsession means that she just makes a bunch of weird artwork of Jacques or if she fantasizes about his green dick thrusting in and out of her pussy. Well, allow me to assure you that her obsession is completely innocent and wholesome.
Amanda not only believed that she was married to this literal goblin man in another dimension, but that she has birthed not one, but two of his unholy spawn. She also believed that he spoke to her across dimensions and even came to visit her. This obsession was so bizarre that even the Spyro community refused to have anything to do with her.

Pedophilia and being a pedophile chaser
First there was George Wilson, age (and affiliation with Defense Distributed) unknown. He had a crush on Amanda when she was in 6th, 7th, and 8th grade, took pictures of her, (lol he's a chubby chaser), and Amanda was "taken advantage of sexually." Amanda was later questioned by the FBI about George because he was in possession of CP. Amanda herself told this story, so there's really no telling how much of it is true and how much of it is bullshit.
When Amanda was 17, she "did something so wrong" to a 15 year old girl that her whole town shunned her for it. You have to understand that Amanda wasn't trying to molest that girl, it just sort of happened. Whatever Amanda did, it was serious enough that she feels responsible for ruining the girl's life and believes that she could have been labeled a child molester for what she did.
assaulting a 15 year old.png
Larry Gresham started dating Amanda as soon as she turned 18. At the time, he was in his 50s. Amanda knew that Larry had a history of preying on minors but dated him anyway, later claiming that "he deserved another chance in society." This predatory behavior culminated in Larry sneaking into Amanda's niece's bedroom and nearly molesting her, at which point she broke up with him. Then they got back together and got fucking married (Amanda says that Larry only married her for her tugboat, making him a reverse gold digger). They were together for six years before Amanda finally decided to divorce him in 2019, possibly because she couldn't stand the smell (Larry would shit and piss his pants at work, but I'm not sure how long this had been going on prior to the divorce). By far the funniest part of this relationship is that Larry was aware of and okay with Amanda's obsession with Jacques. His retarded wife had "spirit sex" with an imaginary goblin man, creating an entirely new form of cuckold of which Larry is the only known example.

Ruben and the grooming of a minor
The gist of this is that Amanda desperately wanted to ERP with her internet boyfriend, Ruben Guzman. Ruben already had a record of grooming minors on DeviantArt in order to solicit their phone numbers/nudes by the time Amanda met him. She did not care, she just wanted to ERP with this drunk Mexican pedophile. Hilariously, Ruben later admitted that he was embarrassed by Amanda and only really cared about her to the extent that she was able to get his dick hard during ERP sessions.
just wanted some action1.pngjust wanted some action2.png
Less hilariously, Amanda provided him with access to a minor that Ruben proceeded to groom right in front of her, eliciting no reaction whatsoever. After this minor begged Amanda to get the fuck away from Ruben, she decided to ask her tarot cards if he was a pedophile. The tarot cards said no, so Amanda was in the clear.
asked the universe.png

(Ruben became a registered sex offender the following month)
When one of her former friends finally exposed Ruben for being a grooming piece of shit, Amanda claimed that she, a woman in her late twenties, had also been groomed by this Mexican pedophile. Furthermore, she attempted to pass the blame off on the minor because "he was drawing porn" and that he should have told her to stop telling him about Ruben's dick.
minor is at fault for being groomed.png
I know that all of you are heartbroken by this, but don't worry! They got back together... and then Ruben leaked this conversation between them:

Third time's a charm?
third date1.pngthird date2.png
It was not a charm, and it ended with pictures of Amanda shoving a small, green Bad Dragon dildo into her pussy being leaked to KF:
Clean your room you fat bitch.

"muh intrusive thoughts"
After the grooming came to light in late 2019, Amanda claimed to be suffering from intrusive thoughts related to molesting her niece. She would continue to bring up these intrusive thoughts any time she was questioned about her pedophilic behavior and/or her numerous relationships with men that she knew to be pedophiles, claiming that she was suffering and needed help.
intrusive thoughts.png

As detailed in the video above, Amanda was in the back of her sister's car with her niece, who was probably around five years old at the time. Her niece was being too loud for Amanda's liking, so she leaned over and pressed her body down on the young girl in an attempt to shut her up. Amanda was easily over 300 pounds at the time. Unfortunately, it would appear that stupidity runs in the family, because Amanda was allowed to give the same niece a birthday gift last year instead of being made to stay the fuck away.
niece birthday gift.png
Also there was that one story she wrote where an older dude romantically kisses a 7 to 10 year old girl but it's okay because that's just how things are in Jacques's kingdom.

Goblin dick enthusiast (part two)
Now, I have some bad news about Jacques. You see, he was extremely abusive and presumably forced Amanda to date all of those pedophiles, molest that 15 year old girl, and crush her niece. Amanda is innocent! As a result, she's no longer dating Jacques. Since early last year, Amanda has been dating a Grimmsnarl named Leastus (pronounced LEESTUS).
staring at big green cock.jpgstaring at big black cock.jpgglowing mushroom dicks.jpggetting fucked by a pokemon.jpgBLACKED.jpg
And then she came up with another goblin man named Jay that showed up in her art for a while, but it's literally just Jacques with legs.
double penetration.jpg
In the same way that Amanda prefers a very specific type of man for her "real life" boyfriends, she also prefers a specific type of man for her imaginary boyfriends: goblin men with big green penises. I want to finish off this section with some good news: Jacques was brought back thanks to a Christmas miracle:
return of the king1.pngreturn of the king2.png
Sadly, it's not all sunshine and roses. Poor guy just isn't the same after the breakup.
look at how they massacred my boy.jpg

Being a shitty pet owner
Amanda has two dogs, Paris and London. They had a litter of puppies last year, and it's a fucking miracle that none of them died in Amanda's care. Her house is filthy and the floor is rife with things for a small dog to choke on. She frequently makes shitty resin crafts to peddle on her Etsy, a process that produces toxic fumes. Not only does she make these indoors, but she might have been making them in close proximity to the puppies. Fortunately, she was finally convinced to give the puppies to a shelter that was actually equipped to take care of them, but Amanda refused to let the mother (I think Paris was the mother) stay with them until it was safe for the puppies to be separated from her. Other examples of Amanda's lack of compassion for the animals in her care include:
  • Yelling at one of the dogs because they wanted attention during one of her streams, which immediately backfired because the chat began grilling her about whether the dogs are getting enough exercise
  • Vacuuming while the puppies were in the room without any consideration for how it might scare the shit out of them
  • Freaking the fuck out because London was chewing on her Leastus body pillow/plush
Non-binary phase
This started and ended in 2020, it was a transparent and halfhearted attempt at making herself appear special. Amanda would label herself as non-binary at any and every fucking opportunity, but:
  • she still drew herself getting railed by green dicks
  • posted nudes of herself on DA where her fat, sagging titties were proudly displayed
  • posted nudes of herself with a green Bad Dragon dildo in her vagina to onlyfans (these were leaked on KF, but I'm not looking for them because I really don't want to see any more of her naked body than is strictly necessary while writing this)
The NB larp was really cringe and really stupid and I'm not going to dig through her thread to find specific examples of the above points for reasons that should be obvious. I haven't really seen her bring it up since last year, so with any luck she's forgotten about it.
Edit: this is still ongoing holy fuck

The failed polycule
Amanda started dating two people near the beginning of the year: Amber and James. There was never any indication that James and Amber were romantically involved, just that Amanda was dating both of them in a polyamorous relationship. The problem with this is that Amanda is a heterosexual LARPing as one of the weird sexualities, so when Amber actually wanted to spend time with Amanda she simply was not interested. This is something that Amanda bitched and moaned about during several Twitch streams. Unsurprisingly, Amanda had broken up with Amber by late February after leading her on for several weeks. Equally unsurprising is the fact that she is till getting dicked by James because she's hopelessly addicted to cock and James is apparently desperate enough to put his cock in a BBW (beached blue whale).
During a rant on her curiouscat, Amanda revealed that "James can't even see his daughter." No further details have come to light about this, so it's not certain whether Karen took the kids or Amanda is dating a pedophile (again).
James can't see his daughter.png

The mind of a 28 year old boomer
I actually love this one

Amanda's sense of humor and her physical appearance can often make you forget that she is only 28 years old at the time of this writing. She consistently fails to understand basic humor, tries to turn her own "Amandaisms" into memes, and looks like someone's 40 year old aunt who dyed her hair and got piercings in an attempt to fit in with the younger crowd.
Biden and Trump pedophiles.pngstrawberrydreams93
Oh, and she bought in to the Qanon "the US government is full of Satanic pedophiles" shit, too. I'm not going to sit here and try to psychoanalyze Amanda ("obviously she latched onto the Qanon narrative to deflect from her own pedophilia") because I'm not gay and also because she has an IQ of 62 and it's easier to just assume that she does the things that she does because she's retarded.
62 IQ lmao.png
Someone managed to get pictures of Amanda's psychological evaluation back in November, so take a look at that if you're interested.
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In summary, Amanda is constantly doing retarded shit. This whale of a woman has been milking herself for a decade and shows no signs of stopping anytime soon. She regularly posts badly drawn artwork of herself getting railed by one of several goblin men, tweets pictures of her unremarkable resin crafts that she charges far too much for, has feuded with a diaperfag sped, has fringe spiritual beliefs, has been roasted by zoomers on TikTok, and she will never ever stop as long as she has access to the internet. I will almost certainly add a few more sections to this OP later because there are a couple of things I didn't cover, but the .odt file I'm drafting this in has already gone over five pages and I just want to post the fucking thread.

I'm not going to list all of her accounts because I'm lazy, check the KF thread if you want a comprehensive list. The accounts I am going to list are the ones that I feel are actually worth looking at.
Twitter: AmariStrawberry (this link will work even if she changes the account username)
NSFW Twitter: StrawbsNSFW (ditto)
DeviantArt: amari-strawberry (surprisingly there's no porn here)
Fur Affinity: universal-blessings (go here if you want to see the porn)
Twitch: amaristrawberry
YouTube: Amari Strawberry
Instagram: strawberrydream93
TikTok: @amaristrawberry
KF: reereeteed1
Onlyfans: amarithefool (if you leak anything from here I will make fun of you for being a chubby chaser)
Patreon: Amaaradafool
Etsy: BlessedArtsandCrafts
Curiouscat: StrawberryDreams93 (protip: if I catch you being an unfunny ween with anon questions here, I will mock the shit out of you for being a faggot)
DOB: 2 May 1993
Employer: just kidding she doesn't have a job lol
Address: 201 Garfield St, Mount Olive, IL 62069 (credit goes to DrainRedRain on KF for finding her address. Amanda has bitched about her address being on KF many times, and we've already established that she's too retarded for reverse psychology so it's definitely the real deal)

She shares this tiny shack with two dogs and with her brother, who is also slow in the mind. Imagine trying to fall asleep while your fat whale of a sister moans, fantasizing about green dicks shooting their hot, sticky loads into her every orifice.

KF thread (I highly recommend reading the first 30ish pages and this post)
ED article (horribly outdated, but absolutely worth reading)
Last edited:

Arm Pit Cream

🌊💪🏻🌴White Boy Summer Has Commenced🍹🤜🌊
Person of Interest
Confrimed Drama Goblin
They were together for six years before Amanda finally decided to divorce him in 2019, possibly because she couldn't stand the smell (Larry would shit and piss his pants at work)
I'm literally shidding and farding and peeing and cumming and shaking and crying and lying and dying and sighing rn

The Fool

♑︎□︎♎︎ □︎♐︎ ⧫︎♒︎♏︎ ⬧︎♓︎⬧︎⬧︎♓︎♏︎⬧︎
Brave™ User
aw fuck I remember manda, she's a great one. iirc she was one of those "people who say I have a tulpa are idiots because jaques is real and people with tulpas are only pretending" cows.


مزرعة الكيوي، المعروفة سابقًا باسم منتديات كويكي،
I don't even know what those flags stand for and honestly I have better stuff to memorize.

>no pedo/zoophiles allowed
What a bigot


Segmentation fault (core dumped)


مزرعة الكيوي، المعروفة سابقًا باسم منتديات كويكي،
Forgot to post my favorite Amanda drawing
View attachment 5231
Truly based and redpilled.
NIGGERS, she HATES them.
They are all poor like Obama. Fuck Michelle Obama.
They are so fucking dumb and can't do taxes, NIGGERS, they're so dumb and also so poor, they cannot do anything without chicken.

I keep screaming, but God won't answer.

Truth is, the game was rigged from the start.

Life is like a nigger, here in old nigs.


Segmentation fault (core dumped)

https://twitter.com/AmariStrawberry/status/1400290419968253952 (archived)
These are the resin crafts she makes, by the way. The marijuana leaf stuff is especially funny because Amanda smoked weed once and didn't like it, but would still put pothead stuff in her art. She even had an OC that was basically just "Amanda but she smokes weed" at one point.
Well there's a story to this as well.

Story time!

Chris is stuck in the Dragon realms and I went to the wrong dimension as well by experiment with trying to travel across the United States to Colorado by portal as well. I have gone through a vivid trip that could make an average person sick and everything started to make no sense. Jacques had to go back to the Dragon Realms make sure that his kingdom was okay and nothing threatening was happening before I made this effort to go do this experiment.

I went on a spiral, zoomed into the portal, and boom I landed on the ground of a park that I had no clue of where I was at. I looked around and I seen the wall that said "CWCville City Park". "Oh fuck, Not here!" I muttered and unable to figure out how to get out of the realm I'm now at. "Hey, is that Lady ALT? the chosen one to find our mother?", a voice that had an annoyance tone to it, spoke out of nowhere, came out. It was Sonichu.

"Don't call me that, that is my past, I'd like to leave it at that...", I got irritated with the rodent. "Then who are you? can you help us find our mother Christine?", Sonichu squeaked while scratching his head. "Can't you go find Chris Chan by yourselves???", the more irritated I got. "We tried finding her everywhere, Please, help u-", Sonichu was punched and he was hit against a wall. "You are irritating the fuck out of me Sonichu, Chris might of went through a portal somewhere... I don't know where but he might need a break after all this annoyance he dealt with..", I mentioned to Sonichu. "How dare you misgender my mother!!!", Sonichu screamed and ready to attack. Rosechu then blocked him, "Sonichu, She might know where mother is, she may help us!" "but that person misgendered Mother!", Sonichu cried.

"Then don't call me Lady ALT, Call me Manda Tee. I'll help you guys find Chris if you can help me find my way to get home...", I mentioned to the two. "We'll do it!" the two hedgehog/chus said at the same time.
I guess this is as good a time as any to mention that Amanda is jealous of CWC's e-fame.
I think Chris might have responded to Amanda on Twitter once, but I'm busy and don't have time to look for it in her KF thread right now.