My new boyfriend cannot receive a blowjob like a normal human being Before I begin -- I know this is going to sound like a joke, but please trust that it is real. You can be as skeptical as you want, but I'm the one who has to live out this nightmare.
I [24f] have been dating this new guy [26m] for the past 3 months and it's been going swimmingly. He's charming, funny, not a slob (important), we click, yada yada. The sex is also passionate and usually really good. His head game is on point and I reciprocate often. When giving him a blowjob he is vocal, which can't be said for many guys.
There is only one issue. He has a very "memey" sense of humor, which I generally enjoy. When I'm going down on him, he'll squirm and moan, but will only say variants of
Give me the succ
In the past 3 months I have kept mental note of all of these variant interjections. They include but are not limited to
She succ me
She succ me through my boxers
She succ me with no clothes on
Succ baby succ
I get the succ
All aboard the succ train
How to get the succ
I'm like the Zucc but I get more succ
60 minutes of succ
Succy succy long time
She want to fucc but first she succ
Damn she fine when she succ
She succ me to Mars
She succ me to Antarctica
She succ me underground
Gimme dat first-class succ
She got a masters in succ
She got a PhD in succ
Succ as a second language
Suh Succ me like a hungry baby
Succ me into an existential crisis
Gimme dat succ-out-of-jail-free card
Succ at a 100
The first rule of succ club is give me the succ
I swear this is all he will say. If you don't believe me, I failed nearly every creative writing class in high school so there is no way I could've come up with all that shit. At first I thought it was the funniest thing on the planet. It's still funny. But it's hard to do my job when I can't stop cracking up. It's getting to the point where I can't really give him oral anymore because I start cackling even before we begin.
I kind of want him to stop because it's getting old, but then he will pull out some new outlandish phrase and grin devilishly as I struggle to pleasure him without choking on my own laughter. It's interfering with our foreplay at this point. We've spoken about it outside of the bedroom and he doesn't seem to take it seriously because I can't confront him about it without breaking down into bouts of laughter. And I kind of don't know if I want it to stop because it's so god damn ridiculous.
Please help me figure out if this is becoming a problem or if I've entered some sort of succ twilight zone that bestows immortality.